Words for Women to Live By :)

Thanks to Donna C. for this one!

1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything. 2. If the shoe fits - buy them in every color. 3. Take life with a pinch of salt... A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila. 4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hours with the girls! 5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).. 6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it. 7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality. 8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok.. They know me here. 9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself. 10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny. 11. When life gives you lemons in 2009 - turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka. 12. Remember where ever there is a good looking; sweet, single or married man there is some woman tired of his bullshit! 13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest. 14. If it has Tires or Testicles it's gonna give you trouble. 15. By the time a women realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong. 'Good friends are like stars.........You don't always see them, but you know they are always there' 'Remember yesterday, dream about tomorrow, but live for today'. Now smile and send to any girl wasting time at work, suffering from a hangover, or just suffering from life , that might need a reason to smile!

Cleaning Poem

Cleaning Poem

I asked the Lord to tell me
Why my house is such a mess.
He asked if I'd been 'computering',
And I had to answer 'yes.'

He told me to get off my fanny,
And tidy up the house.
And so I started cleaning up...
The smudges off my mouse.

I wiped and shined the topside.
That really did the trick...
I was just admiring my good work.

I didn't mean to 'click.'

But click, I did, and oops - I found
A real absorbing site
That I got SO way into it -
I was into it all night.

Nothing's changed except my mouse.
It's very, very shiny.
I guess my house will stay a mess...
While I sit here on my hiney.

Thank you for being my

e-mail buddy, family, and friends!

Purple Iris

There comes a point in your life when you realize:

Who matters,
Who never did,
Who won't anymore...
And who always will..
So, don't worry about people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

Give these flowers to everyone you don't want to lose in 2009, including me, if that's what is in your heart. Try to collect 12; it's not easy!

Be kinder than necessary
Because everyone you meet is fighting Some kind of battle.

ONE YELLOW ROSE

Thanks Heather for this one!

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.

Love the people who treat you right and forget about the ones who don't.

Famous Pet Quotes 5

"A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue." ~ Anonymous

"The dog represents all that is best in man." ~ Etienne Charlet

"The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp." ~ John Berry

"And God took a handful of southernly wind, blew His breath over it and created the horse." ~ Bedouin Legend

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person." ~ Andrew A. Rooney

"A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song." ~ Chinese Proverb

"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." ~ Mary Bly

"Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms." ~ George Elliot

"The Trouble with a kitten isThatEventually it becomes aCat"
~ Ogden Nash

"The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself, too." ~ Samuel Butler

"I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it."
~ Abraham Lincoln

"If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because you lap is warmer." ~ Alfred North Whitehead

Famous Pet Quotes 4

"You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'" ~ Dave Barry

"There is nothing in which the birds differ more from man than the way in which they can build and yet leave a landscape as it was before." ~ Robert Lynd

"The dog was created especially for children. He is the God of frolic." ~ Henry Ward Beecher

"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated." ~ Mahatma Gandhi

"The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him." ~ Rudyard Kipling

"If I have any beliefs about immortality it is that certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very very few people." ~ James Thurber

"A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg." ~ Samuel Butler

"I've met many thinkers and many cats, but the wisdom of cats is infinitely superior." ~ Hippolyte Taine

"Every boy should have two things: a dog, and a mother willing to let him have one" ~ Anonymous

"Love the animals: God has given them the rudiments of thought and joy untroubled" ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Famous Pet & Animal Quotes 3

"I think I could turn and live with animals, they are
so placid and self-contained,
I stand and look at them long and long." ~ Walt Whitman

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." ~ Ben Williams

"A dog maybe a man's best friend but a horse made history..." ~ Anonymous

"No heaven will not ever Heaven be;
Unless my cats are there to welcome me." ~ Anonymous

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?
I think that is how dogs spend their lives." ~ Sue Murphy

"To err is human, to forgive, canine" ~ Anonymous

"To err is human, to purr, feline" ~ Robert Byrne

"A horse gallops with his lungs,Perseveres with his heart,And wins with his character." ~ Tesio

"A Horse! A Horse! my kingdom for a horse!" ~ Shakespeare

"All of the animals except for man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it." ~ Samuel Butler

Famous Pet & Animal Quotes 2

A dog is the only thing on earth that will love you more than you love yourself." ~ Josh Billings

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." ~ Anatole France

"Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to." ~ Joe Gores

"A canter is the cure for all evil." ~ Benjamin Disraeli

"Dogs have owners, cats have staff." ~ Anonymous

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." ~ Ann Landers

"In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat" ~ Warren Eckstein

"A house is not a home without a pet." ~ Anonymous

"I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul." ~ Jean Cocteau

"If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans" ~ James Herriot

Famous Pet & Animal Quotes 1

"An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language." ~ Martin Buber

"We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." ~ Immanual Kant

"My little dog -- a heartbeat at my feet." ~ Edith Wharton

"A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution." ~ Hazel Nicholson

"The purity of a person's heart can be quickly measured by how they regard animals" ~ Anonymous

"Who can believe that there is no soul behind those luminous eyes!" ~ Theophile Gautier

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." ~ Roger Caras

"There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat." ~ Wesley Bates

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." ~ Anonymous

"You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us" ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

Learn from yesterday, Live for today, Hope for tomorrow. This is the most beautiful advice I have ever received in an email .... Please don't close or delete this one before reading! 1. Pray 2. Go to bed on time. 3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed. 4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health. 5. Delegate tasks to capable others. 6. Simplify and unclutter your life. 7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.) 8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places. 9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together. 10. Take one day at a time. 11. Separate worries from concerns . If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety . If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it. 12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases. 13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc. 14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble. 15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday. 16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line. 17. Get enough rest. 18. Eat right. 19 Get organized so everything has its place. 20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life. 21. Write down thoughts and inspirations. 22. Every day, find time to be alone. 23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray. 24. Make friends with Godly people. 25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand. 26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good 'Thank you Jesus .' 27. Laugh. 28. Laugh some more! 29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all. 30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can). 31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most). 32. Sit on your ego. 33 Talk less; listen more. 34. Slow down. 35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe. 36 Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU. 'If God is for us, who can be against us?' (Romans 8:31) My instructions were to send this to four people that I wanted God to bless and I picked you. I decided to send it to more than four, because I didn't want to limit blessings.

Daily Laughs :)

I have kleptomania, But when it gets bad, I take something for it. FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! Except that one where you're naked in church. Heaven is Where: The Police are British, The Chefs are Italian, The Mechanics are German, The Lovers are French And It's all organized by the Swiss. Hell is Where: The Police are German, The Chefs are British, The Mechanics are French, The Lovers are Swiss And It's all organized by the Italians. My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Welcome to Utah Set your watch back 20 years. A bartender is just a pharmacist With a limited inventory I may be schizophrenic, But at least I have each other. I am a Nobody. Nobody is Perfect. Therefore I am Perfect. KENTUCKY: Five million people, Fifteen last names. Dyslexics Have More Nuf. In Memorium With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey", died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started. I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE Sometimes I even put it in the food. Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, How was the play? When you work here, You can name your own salary. I named mine, "Fred". Money isn't everything, But it sure keeps the kids in touch. I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes. Red meat is not bad for you Fuzzy green meat is bad for you. I am having an out-of-money experience. As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280 Interstate. Please be careful!" "It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!" Don't sweat the petty things. Don't pet the sweaty things. Corduroy pillows are making headlines! I want to die while asleep like my grandfather, Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.