HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

Thanks to Karen B. for this info!

1.
> Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table
> knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see
> carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're
> serving rum balls.
>
> 2.
> Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's
> rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So
> drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every
> sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an
> eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it.
> Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think.
> It's Christmas!
>
> 3.
> If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole
> point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make
> a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy.
> Eat the volcano. Repeat.
>
> 4.
> As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with
> skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother?
> It's like buying a sports car with an automatic
> transmission.
>
> 5.
> Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to
> control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday
> party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of
> it. Hello?
>
> 6.
> Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and
> New Year's. You can do that in January when you have
> nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which
> you'll need after circling the buffet table while
> carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
>
>
> 7.
> If you come across something really good at a buffet table,
> like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of
> Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have
> as many as you can before becoming the center of attention.
> They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave
> them behind, you're never going to see them again.
>
>
> 8.
> Same for pies. Apple,
> Pumpkin, Mincemeat.
> Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat,
> have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When
> else do you get to have more than one dessert?
> Labor
> Day?
>
>
> 9.
> Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with
> the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all
> cost. I mean, have some standards.
>
>
> 10. One final tip: If you don't feel
> terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table,
> you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start
> over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember
> this motto to live by:
>
> "Life should NOT be a journey to the
> grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive
> and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways,
> chocolate and wine in one hand, body thoroughly used up,
> totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a
> ride!"
>
> Have a great
> holiday
> season!!
>
>
>